Last year, at the end of the post I wrote about my 39th birthday I said I hoped that my 40th birthday would be very different.  In that post I said this:

It is 364 days until my next birthday.  My goal is to make the post I write about my 40th birthday a very different post from the one I wrote about my 39th.  I have the bravery and the determination and a plan.  Most importantly, I know I’m worth it.

As it turns out, for once I wasn’t just saying the words I thought I should say.  I really meant what I said, and I did have a plan.  As a result, my 40th birthday was very different than my 39th in several ways.  Let’s count them:

1. My family remembered
2. My friends remembered
3. I had a fabulously beautiful cake made especially for me by a friend
4. Another friend sent flowers
5. 2 more friends took me out for dinner

If anything shows me how worthwhile the 40 things project is going to be for my life,  it has been the events of this birthday.  A year ago I was lonely and sick and resigned that this was my life.  This year I had a lovely day with friends.  Over the past year I have worked at reaching out more to family and friends and, if today is any indication, they’re reaching back.  It’s a lovely feeling.

I have to say that I’m immensely proud of myself at this moment.  I still have my moments of being scared but I am making strides and I am getting to where I want to be.

There really are no words for how good that feels.

On this Wednesday after the election I’m grateful that sometimes the American electorate gets it right.  I had a fear that somehow all the predictions would be wrong and that McCain/Palin would win and it would be at least four more years like those we’ve already endured.  I’m so glad my fears were groundless.

Last night, when I voted, I saw more high spirits and smiles than I’ve seen in connection with anything political in a long time.  People were feeling a sense of history, and a sense of hope that had been missing in politics for too long.  I’m realistic, I know that no one human can live up to all the expectations we have for him,  but I get the sense that he’s willing to try.  I also get the sense that Barack Obama believes that we all can be better than we are.  I hope he’s right.

Tonight, I’m just so grateful and pleased that things turned out as they did.

Congratulations, President Elect Obama.

What a marvelous, marvelous thing.

If I had to pick what I’m most grateful for this Wednesday, and I do otherwise this post makes no sense, I would have to say I’m most grateful for my ability to read and write.  I take both those skills for granted, but I really shouldn’t.  There are a lot of people who can do neither easily, either because of a problem like dyslexia, or because they don’t have access to the education that would help them learn to read and write.   I can’t imagine my life if I couldn’t read and write, so I’m very grateful that I can.

To tell the truth, I can’t remember when I couldn’t read.  I taught myself to read out of a kindergarten primer sometime just after I turned four.  It was the teacher’s edition.  Even though I have large gaps in my memory of my childhood, I still remember that book.  It was yellow and there was a blond haired girl in a blue dress and a dark haired boy on the cover.  I’m still not sure how things clicked, but I was reading way beyond my grade level by first grade.  I also read very fast and retain most of what I read.  I confounded my teachers in elementary school.

I also can hardly remember when I wasn’t making up stories and writing.  I wrote my first story, which my mother kept, and which I inherited when she died, when I was six.  I also illustrated it.  The story showed I had a lively imagination and a way with words.  It also quite accurately predicted I wouldn’t be able to draw a straight line to save my life.  I’ve been writing, in one form or another, ever since that first story.

Two of the greatest gifts my parents and family gave me were a love of reading and encouragement in my writing.  My whole family read and trips to the library were frequent.  My family still asks me how my writing is going and when my novel is coming out.  I came from a literary group and I’m grateful for that as well.  My lifelong love of words and books is in my genes and I count myself very lucky in that regard.

This Wednesday I want to talk about something that has made me extremely grateful lately, sleep.  I’m a dedicated insomniac from way back.  It isn’t uncommon for me to function on four hours of sleep a night.  Thankfully, my insomnia tends to go in cycles, so I do get more sleep on a fairly regular basis.  I don’t, however, fall asleep easily, and I don’t stay asleep well.  Sleep and I have always had a somewhat uneasy relationship.

Lately, however, I’ve been sleeping marvelously.  I fall asleep easier, and I sleep more deeply.  I’m sure some of my new sleeping prowess is attributable to the fact that I’m feeling less stress in my life.  Another component surely must be that I’m exercising more regularly and am definitely more physically fit.   I think moving to the new house helped too.  There’s less noise, so I tend to sleep more deeply.

Those people who fall asleep at the drop of a hat or who only have the very occasional bout of sleeplessness might not understand how wonderful it is not to worry about sleeping.  For me, however, who has had bouts with sleeplessness since I was a child, it’s wonderful.

On this Wednesday, I’m very grateful to be sleeping peacefully and well.

This Wednesday I’m grateful that its Fall.  I love this season, it has always been my favorite.  I love the crispness in the air, and snuggling back into warm blankets and cosy sweaters.  I love the smell of wet earth and wet leaves.  I love how the sky becomes a clear, brilliant blue without a cloud to be seen.

We also can’t forget the trees.  The colors are so beautiful this year.  Rich reds and brilliant bronzes and sunshiny yellows and golds.  The trees are really putting on a show and I love driving along some of the more rural roads and just being dazzled by all the wonderful colors.

Fall is always when I feel renewed and reborn.  I’m not a Summer person.  I’ve never been one to want to go lie in the sun.  Too much heat just makes me lethargic and depressed.  Once the air gets a tinge of coolness and crispness, however, I’m full of energy and raring to go.  Fall is my season.

This Wednesday, I’m grateful I live where there are four seasons.  Every year I get to see the world change color and prepare to go to sleep for the Winter.  I love this time of year,  and I’m grateful I get to enjoy it.

I have never really had any sort of chronic illness.  The closest I came was earlier this year before we figured out I was in afib.  I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t breathe and everything was a chore.  I didn’t handle it well.

This Wednesday, I’m grateful that I have the ability to run and jump and move when I want to do so and without pain.  If I want to get up and walk somewhere I simply get up and walk.  If I want to put in an exercise tape and work my muscles or challenge my lungs and heart I can.  I can sit, stand, run, walk, skip, jump or collapse in a heap.  My muscles and tendons respond when I ask them to respond.

There are a lot of people who don’t have the luxury that I have.  There’s a woman in my office who has rheumatoid arthritis.  She is in constant pain.  Every movement hurts her and even when she sits still she often has pain.  She can’t sleep, get dressed, watch a movie or eat a meal without pain.  I can’t imagine what that must be like.  I’m a coward enough to hope I never know.

For those of us who have healthy bodies that can do what we ask them to do, it’s pretty easy to forget that a lot of people don’t have that luxury.  Today, I just wanted to take a minute to acknowledge how lucky I am.  My body may not have come from the factory in mint condition but, all in all, it works pretty well.

And that, on this Wednesday, is something for which I am very grateful.

It sounds kind of simplistic to say it, but this Wednesday the thing I’m most grateful for is the fact that I’m here.  I don’t mean here in this house, or here in this town, I mean here at all.  The odds against my making it to this point were pretty steep at times.  To have gotten here and to still be here and happy and successful to boot is something for which I am extremely grateful.

The odds against me getting to this point started at birth.  I was born with seven holes between the chambers of my heart.  I was one sick little kid.   They had to wait until I was four for me to be strong enough to withstand the surgery.  This was 1973.  Kids my age routinely died from surgeries less complicated than mine.  I came through mine with flying colors and thrived.

Fast forward to junior high and high school where I was being sexually abused by a teacher I trusted.  It was a dark time.  My Mom and my biological Dad were in the process of what would become their final break-up, but it was happening in slow motion.  I was an awkward kid looking for love and acceptance and being betrayed by those I should have been able to trust the most.  I hurt all the time.  Yet somehow I got through it.  I considered suicide, but I didn’t do it.  I lived.

Move a few more years down the timeline and we hit my bad year.  The darkness and hopelessness of that year is indescribable.  I kept going under and drowning in gloom but something always made me claw my way back to the surface.  I’m still not sure what that was.  Sometimes I think it was just me being stubborn.  Whatever it was, I’m grateful for it.  That quality kept me going when everything in me was saying give in and sink.

If someone had told me then that I’d be where I am now, I’d have laughed hysterically.  I won’t say my life is perfect, but it is good.  I’m learning and growing and best of all I have a chance to accomplish the rest of what I want to accomplish before I’m done with this life.

And for that, on this Wednesday, I am very grateful.

When you start out writing a blog, first you just hope people read.  Then, after a while, you start hoping those who read like what they read.  Every once in a while, if you’re very lucky, someone let’s you know that they enjoy what you’re writing.  That’s what happened to me today.

Jody, from The Hunter’s Wife,  gifted me with the I Love Your Blog Award.  As I am a huge fan of Jody’s work, it is nice to know that she likes what I do as well.

According to the rules of the award, I meant to:

• Link to Jody’s Blog
• Answer some questions which I will do after this list
• Tag 7 others – I may not make it to seven, but I will tag a few

Now, for the questions:

1. Where is your cell phone? Counter
2. Where is your significant other? N/A
3. Your hair color? Blonde
4. Your mother? Passed on
5. Your father? Fishing
6. Your favorite thing? Computer
7. Your dream last night? Don’t remember
8. Your dream/goal? Self actualization
9. The room you’re in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Computer
11. Your fear? Snakes/Being alone forever
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Thinner, in love and wealthier
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you’re not? Religious
15. One of your wish-list items? New Clothes
16. Where you grew up? Midland, MIchigan
17. The last thing you did? wrote an e-mail
18. What are you wearing? A t-shirt and sweat pants
19. Your TV? Annoying
20. Your pet? N/A
21. Your computer? Dell
22. Your mood? Happy
23. Missing someone? Mom
24. Your car? Saturn
25. Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
26. Favorite store? Borders
27. Your summer? Hot
28. Love someone? My dad
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

Thanks to Jody for spreading some blog love my way.  I do appreciate it.  Now, according to the rules of the game, I have to spread some love myself.  I’m going to reserve two of my awards for now and pass it along to five other bloggers.  I hope they’ll answer the questions too.

I pass the award to :

Blessed from A Blessed, Crazy Life

Jamie from Paint Til You Faint

Muse from Musings, Chocolate and Tea

Jane at What I Love to Do

Steve at The VanBlog

In this week when so much news has surfaced about companies going bankrupt and so many people losing their jobs, I’m grateful that I have a steady job that allows me to pay my bills and have a bit extra.  I can’t imagine how awful it would be to go to work one morning and suddenly no longer have a paycheck.  Or, alternatively, to always be wondering if your job is going to gone tomorrow due to downsizing or layoffs.

My job may not be perfect, what job is, but it is steady and I make a decent paycheck.  At a time when a lot of companies are pulling back or downsizing, the company for which I work is trying new things and looking for ways to expand.  I don’t worry that my job will be gone someday soon.  I’m confident that it will be around for as long as I want it to be.

Having had years when paying my bills was a struggle, it is nice to have the security of money in the bank and a surplus left over at the end of the month.  My job also allowed me to buy my first home.

My heart goes out to all those who are dealing with unemployment and struggling to find new jobs.  I know that is a terribly hard thing to endure, particularly in today’s job market.  I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes, and I have to say that, today, I’m grateful I’m not.

This Wednesday I want to talk about something for which I have been really grateful lately, my health.  After all the issues I had earlier in the year, it may sound odd to say I’m grateful for my health, but I am. It took me almost 40 years but I’ve finally come to comprehend how valuable my health is to me.  I’ve also come to understand that there are a lot of people battling much worse problems than anything that I face.  I’m be very churlish if I were anything but grateful for how lucky I am. .

I’m grateful that my heart, which didn’t even start out fresh from the factory, is responding well to the new medications.  I can proudly say that my heart is healthy and functions perfectly.  At my last cardiologist appointment, Cute Cardiologist said he’d never seen a heart respond so well.  After two surgeries and various medications, my heart is still hanging in there and doing what it’s supposed to do.  Who wouldn’t be grateful for that?

I also grateful that, after years of neglecting my body, I am still able to lose weight and get in shape.  I can run and jump and sweat and get stronger.  I can stand when I want and sit when I want and walk under my own power.  I know, for some people, having that ability just for the day would be the stuff of dreams.  I’m working to never take that ability for granted.

I’m also grateful that my brain is sharp and healthy.  I’ve always been a person who lived half in her thoughts.  Having a brain that can comprehend complex ideas, that can imagine great things and that can be by turns witty, wise and sarcastic is a wonderful thing.  My brain allows me to read at warp speed, to learn new things and to appreciate the beauty around me.  I know, for some people, the brain doesn’t work that way.  I’m grateful that mine does.

I’ve also come to treasure all my senses.  Today I took the office dog out for a potty break.  It was a lovely Fall day, not to warm and not too cold.  I could feel the warm sun on my back and a gentle cool breeze on my skin.  I could see the green grass and the green trees and the clear blue sky.  I could smell the freshly mowed grass that lay around me.  I could hear the chirping of the birds.  It was one brief prefect moment, and I was able to enjoy it all.

Sometimes it’s the simple things that we take for granted that we need to treasure most of all.  On this Wednesday, I pledge to do all I can to protect my health and to stay healthy.  I’m grateful to have the opportunity to do that.