Considering my last post here was some months ago, you might say I’ve been a bad blogger.  In my defense I needed to go away for a while to get my head on straight.  I’d gotten myself all tied up in knots over this whole love and dating thing, and it had assumed an importance and a significance that it didn’t really have.  I wasn’t approaching things in the right spirit, and something that should have been fun was instead a chore and a burden.  Clearly, I was in need of an attitude adjustment.

Oddly enough, my shift in perspective occurred at a Fourth of July party.  It wasn’t a large party, but in the course of it, we started talking about my desire to find a partner.   I was, you see, the only solo guest at the party.  My single state ended up being one  of the discussion points at dinner, and the thing that struck me most was the fact that everyone at the table, including the men, seemed to take it for granted that I was a catch.  There was no doubt in their minds that if I put myself out there I could find someone who would think I was wonderful.  No one, mind you, was claiming that there wouldn’t be some frogs to kiss along the way, but no one seemed to be in doubt that there would be princes who would find me worthy of kissing as well.

I was also told another wise thing at this dinner, and it was something that struck right to the heart of my problem.  You have to, I was told, go into it with no expectations.  If you meet someone who turns out to be a good friend, that’s great.  If you meet someone you don’t particularly like, or with whom you don’t click, that’s o.k. too.  If you go out enough times, you’ll eventually meet someone who you really like, but you have to be open to the possibilities.

For me, meeting someone and dating has always been more about me waiting for someone to want me and pick me than it has been about me wanting or picking.   Once I switched my perspective from being passive to being active, the whole thing became a lot less scary and a lot more fun.

I still haven’t gone on a date yet.  I do, however, have my profile, complete with picture, on three online dating sites.  I am, as I noted in the title of this post, taking my first tour of the boy buffet.  I’m kind of excited by all the choices out there, and I know I may have to sample several things before I find the perfect dish, but that’s part of the fun.  Right now I’m just responding to people who catch my eye and seeing what happens.

I’d say that’s a pretty good start.