If I Can’t See It, Can It Happen?April 16th, 2009 @ 8:17 pm
I’ve always been a person who lived in my head. Half of my life has been lived in my imagination and generally has no connection to what is actually happening in the life I’m living. I’ve imagined a million futures for myself. In my head I’ve been everything from a famous writer to a famous singer to a spy to a master criminal. I like playing with alternative futures and speculating what might have happened if I’d gone right instead of left. It’s kind of fun.
It didn’t take long for me to recognize the power of this imagination that I have. I’m pretty big on visualization. For me, it works. I tend to imagine scenarios and try to work them out in my head before I play them out in real life. I’ve imagined job interviews, speeches, presentations, meeting new people and a host of other situations so when those things happened in real life I was ready. While I’m not a huge proponent of the whole affirmation movement, I do believe that visualization can help you be prepared for real life events. I know it has worked for me. That, sadly, is what has me worried at the moment.
Any of you who read here regularly know that one of the goals of my 40 Things Project is to go on five dates this year. I want to meet someone and fall in love. I want to have a supportive, loving relationship. I just can’t imagine that happening.
Sure, I can imagine the romantic movie kind of love. I can fantasize about ending up with George Clooney or Tim Omundson or any number of handsome men, and have a lovely time doing it. What I can’t do is fathom meeting an ordinary guy and falling in love. I can’t envision having someone there for me day in and day out. I can’t imagine some man picking me to love over everyone else. I just can’t see it.
I have to confess that worries me. I’ve always believed if I could envision it, I could make it come true. I’m not saying it would be easy or quick, but I believed I could get it done. Now I’m trying to imagine something that is really quite important to me, and I can’t seem to see it. I don’t know how it will look. I can’t decide how it will feel. I’m not sure I even believe it could happen.
So I guess that’s the question. If I can’t imagine it, can it happen?
Goals · Love and Relationships
Blessed
said,
April 17, 2009 at 8:20 am
Yes it can.
And, it will be different than anything you imagine anyway!
Darlene Siddons
said,
April 17, 2009 at 12:51 pm
love your blog…and visualization is definitely where it is at…..if you can visualize it you can achieve it….my favorite visualization tool is vision map videos….we can never have to many tools in our toolbox…here is to happy and productive visualization for and to everyone!!!
darlene
http://visionmapvideo.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/spiritdancing
Steven Bradley
said,
April 17, 2009 at 5:01 pm
It can probably still happen, however…
If you can’t imagine it you may be sending out signals keeping it from happening. Maybe the guys you do meet pick up on the fact that you only see yourself with George Clooney and since they aren’t him, it subtley pushes them away.
The flip side is if you can imagine it you’ll be more open to it happening and put out signals to make it more likely to happen.
Why can’t you imagine falling for an ordinary guy?
Kristine Shreve
said,
April 17, 2009 at 8:17 pm
It’s not that I think I’m too good for ordinary guys or something like that. It’s more that I can’t imagine an ordinary guy wanting me. I can’t envision what it would be like to be part of a normal, supportive, loving couple, mostly because I never have been.
I can imagine George Clooney and my fantastic life because it’s mostly impossible and fantasy. I can be as crazy as I like because it’s never going to happen.
Maybe I am giving off signals. I’m sure that’s possible. Or maybe I can imagine falling for an ordinary guy and don’t want to imagine it, since the idea scares me.
There’s a lot to think about here.