It was the dining room chairs that finally drove the point home.

Just before Christmas the family announced that they wanted to come to my house.  Unfortunately, my house was far from ready for guests.  I subscribe to the “don’t rush into it” school of decorating which means I have the bare minimum I need to be comfortable (loose translation, a bed, a couch, a television and a computer) and I add the rest as funds and inclination dictate.  In this case that meant I didn’t yet have a dining room table.

It’s absolutely obvious that you don’t have people for Christmas without having a table around which they can sit.  I had to have a table so I gritted my teeth and bought one which, while not the admittedly expensive one I had my eye on, seemed to be one that would do.   It would have done nicely, except for one thing.

Three dreaded words.  Some Assembly Required.

I don’t do some assembly required.  The light on my stovetop has been minus a cover for almost a year now because I took the cover off to change the bulb and couldn’t figure out how to get it back on.  The list of my DIY attempts and failures extends far beyond that.  I’m just not handy, and I’ve made my peace with that.

Still, the table was there and guests were coming, so I ripped open boxes and read instructions and gradually and painfully assembled my new dining room table and six chairs.  It turned out pretty well I thought.  Nothing wobbled, much, and everything seemed fairly sturdy.  The only issue I had was the cushions for the chairs.  They didn’t seem to want to be attached.   There were screws that were supposed to attach them, but I couldn’t figure out how to make them work.  I tried and failed and tried again and finally had a brilliant idea.  I’d do the easiest thing in the world. I’d get some sticky tape and stick the cushions to the chair frame.  That was sure to work!

Except it didn’t work.  My family arrived, one chair was moved and the flaws in the sticky tape were quickly revealed.  After a lot of laughter and incredulous looks from my DIY savvy sister, she marshaled her troops (her daughter and two sons) and set to work putting the screws in the bottom of my chairs.  Like magic, all the cushions were secure.

And, sadly, so was my DDIY crown.